Today's Dosage of Bill's Pills   (Updated each weekday)
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Tuesday, Nov 24

Organized crime is apparently alive and well in Philadelphia, where federal
racketeering, loansharking and illegal gambling charges were recently filed
against 15 members of La Costa Nostra, including 60 year old Joseph
“Joey Electric” Servidio and 73 year old Anthony “Tony Meatballs” Gifoli.
 
***  However, experts say mob life is losing much of its appeal for young criminals
who see increasing evidence that all the good nicknames have already been
taken.


Monday, Nov 23

Apparently moose like to lick road salt off cars, and with winter
approaching Canadian authorities are concerned about the potential
consequences.
 ***  For example, if you have to drag around a moose that got
its tongue frozen
to your rear bumper, your gas mileage is gonna be terrible.


Friday, Nov 20

In China, seniors are protesting the government’s plans to maintain a large
workforce and delay pension expenses by raising the retirement age, which
is currently set at 60 years old.  
 ***   In a hard-fought compromise, officials
have agreed that--in lieu of formal retirement--workers over age 60 will be
permitted to start the day whenever they feel like it, take long afternoon naps,
scratch wherever it itches, and complain about nearly everything.        


Thursday, Nov 19

Carl Lentz, the pastor of Hillsong mega-church, was fired by the church’s
founder, Brian Houston, because of "moral failures." Pastor Lentz had
been a spiritual adviser to many celebrities, including pop star Justin
Bieber
 *** Or, as Pastor Houston calls him, “Exhibit A.”  


Wednesday, Nov 18

Rudy Giuliani is reportedly demanding $20,000 per day to continue
handling President Trump’s legal work and representing the president in
court.
 ***  Democrats are scrambling to come up with the money.


Tuesday, Nov 17

In Haines City, Florida, James Blight, 26, was arrested for stealing a
bulldozer, knocking down a fence, and destroying political campaign signs
on residential lawns.
  ***   Thousands of Florida residents immediately offered
to post bail for Mr. Blight and asked if he could provide the same service for their
neighbor’s plastic pink flamingos.


Monday, Nov 16

At the USA Mullet Championships, a third grader from Celeste, Texas, took
first place in the kids category, where the short-in-front and long-in-back
styles included the “curly mullet,” the “freedom flapper” and the
“Tennessee top hat.”  ***
 However, the first-time entrants in the adult category
all had the same style: ”I-trimmed-the-front-by-myself-but-didn’t-trust-my-wife-
with-sharp-scissors.”


Friday, Nov 13

McDonald’s has announced plans to provide quicker drive-thru service.   
***   Corporate officials didn't realize the lines were moving too slowly until local
managers started renting porta-johns.


Thursday, Nov 12

While some people object to disclosing their phone number for contact
tracing, old timers point out that decades ago everyone’s phone number
was in the white pages.
  ***  And telemarketers could be identified by the black
ring around the tip of their index finger.



Tuesday, Nov 10

The U.S. Postal Service recently announced a new zip code for Atlanta.   
***  Oh, it’s moving?
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TM
Bill has been the Master of Ceremonies and
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clubs, fundraisers and special events.  His signature
humor is about the trials and tribulations of aging. Bill
can also mix his humor with a factual, anecdote-filled
presentation on "The Serious Business of Comedy."  
(Click "Performing" to see video clips.)