|Today's Dosage of Bill's Pills (Updated each weekday)
Tuesday, Sep 18
In the high winds of Hurricane Florence, a North Carolina family that had to be rescued after refusing
to evacuate explained, “We thought we’d be safe in brick house.” *** Folks, it’s never a good idea to
base your survival strategy on a story you read in a children’s book.
Monday, Sep 17
In New Mexico, authorities recently evacuated the Sunspot Solar Observatory near Roswell, the site
of a rumored space alien landing. *** There was no explanation for the evacuation; a spokesman said you
just don’t question an order from the mothership.
Friday, Sep 14
President Trump is claiming that federal assistance to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria was
an “unsung success.” *** To make sure that doesn’t happen with the current storm, the White House has
already started holding auditions for “Florence, the Musical.”
Thursday, Sep 13
In Livonia, Michigan, traffic on I-275 was disrupted Wednesday morning due to a “hazardous material”
incident. *** A police spokesperson said there was a serious accident involving several cars and a water truck
Wednesday, Sep 12
There are more and more rumors that Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks, is planning to run
for president. *** Great—instead of a leader who spends so much time on the golf course, we’ll have one who
runs the country from a laptop computer at the corner table in a coffee shop.
Tuesday, Sep 11
Mattress Firm Inc., the largest U.S. mattress retailer, announced they may file for bankruptcy. *** No
wonder the company’s in trouble—every time they need to make a decision they say they’ll have to sleep on it.
Monday, Sep 10
In explaining why she did not tell President Trump about Bob Woodward’s request for an interview,
Kellyanne Conway said Mr. Woodward could have just called the switchboard. *** She seemed perfectly
sincere…until she wrinkled her nose and said, “One ringy dingy…two ringy dingy…”
Friday, Sep 7
The FBI has recovered Judy Garland’s “Wizard of Oz” ruby red slippers that gave Dorothy the power
to click her heels together three times and suddenly be home. *** After reading that news, President
Trump ordered a pair of ruby red golf shoes; he wants to click his heels three times and suddenly be on a golf
Thursday, Sep 6
In a recent interview, the CEO of Jetco Delivery said that new technologies will make truck driving fun
again. *** Actually, I heard that’s what truck stops are for.
Wednesday, Sep 5
Disneyland is now offering alcoholic drinks for the first time in the park’s history. *** But it’s a little
embarrassing for guys who want bourbon and have to order a “Mickey Mouse on the rocks.”
Tuesday, Sep 4
At Aretha Franklin’s funeral, a steady stream of speakers talked about the Queen of Soul and her
place in heaven for all eternity. *** The concept of “eternity” can be difficult to fully comprehend, but after
the 8 hour service most attendees had a pretty good idea.
Monday, Sep 3
A can of pepper spray accidentally discharged on a Hawaiian Airlines flight from California to Maui. ***
According to eyewitness reports, it panicked the passengers, shocked the flight attendants and woke up the pilots.
|High Impact Humor
|HIGH IMPACT HUMOR can add a
humorous introduction to your speech, use
humor to "punch up" a speech you've
already written, or write your entire speech.
Turnaround can be as quick as 24 hours.
operated by Bill Mihalic, a professional
comedy writer with a background in the
corporate offices of the Detroit auto industry.
Bill's material has frequently been used
by Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, Kevin
Ferguson's "Nightshift" TV show, Tom Ryan on
WOMC and the New York Times "Laugh
Lines." He has supplied humorous speeches for
featured speakers at Detroit area events as well
as comedy sketches and song parodies for
theaters in Branson, Missouri.
|Bill has been the Master of Ceremonies and
performed his stand-up comedy at numerous comedy
clubs, fundraisers and special events. His signature
humor is about the trials and tribulations of aging. Bill
can also mix his humor with a factual, anecdote-filled
presentation on "The Serious Business of Comedy."
(Click "Performing" to see video clips.)